A word for the season from an unexpected source.

Was checking my mail just 5 mins ago and accidentally clicked on the rearrange email button. Den just felt a leading to open one of the emails that I've received from Xiu on 12 September 2006.

It was just a regular email updating the helpers on the discipleship chart.
But just felt the Spirit rising up again.

"every effort will be seen, every fruit is a symbol of our faithfulness, every vision a seed of our faith. we're the clay- found w impurities, dirt, grime, little stones, sand and so on... to be purified means we allow Jesus to take off every dirt and grime in us. no matter how painful it may be, when you've decided to let the Potter work on you, you cant look back to e good old dirty days!"
"to obtain the final product; a fine piece of pottery from the Potter's most creative hands.. the clay need to go through FIRE. it is in e oven that we're strenthened, SOLIDIFIED and purified. if our life is build on complacency, we'll forever be a piece of clay. Jesus is our rock.. lean on Him. Not by might, nor by power; but by the power of the Holy Spirit=)"

"im yearning for Him to take me higher.. to places i've nv been before.. to show me His "view". standing tall allows u to see FAR.. it is the same with our spiritual eyes.. come to God's "viewing gallery" and you'll see more!"
*Words of Xiu in Purple. LOL!!!

I am praying, praying praying for a breakthrough. One is not enough. I need more. I want more. I desire more!

"For they are life to those who find them, healing and health to all their flesh. Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life."
-Proverbs 4:22-23

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
-Philipians 4:7

God I want your peace. All I am asking for is to be in Your will. I rather be a gatekeeper in You kingdom than a king elsewhere.

Dawn or Dusk

Wow... was reading pearly's blog and the first sentence made my spirit excited.

Have you ever thought which is better?

Dawn or Dusk?

Wow.... Was reminded of an all-time favorite revelation that God gave one day while the E149 then had our Cg cycling day @ ECP

That day, after the initial excitement and chiong-ing of the bikes at the start of the day. I just decided to slow down and let the rest overtake me. I decided to spent some time cycling alone with God. (He said walk with me, but cycle easier. Haha) It was about 4 or 5 at that time. In the east, the sun sets faster so I was looking at a magnificent painting out to the sea. 

God: "Magnificent and beautiful isn't it?"

GX: "wow, Its totally captivating."

God: " How about the sunrise?"

Gx: "Should be also as beautiful, but waiting for it abit mafan arz."

God: "Xiang, the sunset may be easier to see, but the sunrise is always more rewarding."

How very true. Whatever that we do with effort will always feel and be more rewarding. Even if we achieve the same results, but you will not feel the same sense of accomplishment and fulfillment when no effort is put in. 

It takes discipline to watch the sunrise. Kenneth and myself has been totally baptised  in this truth and fact. Haha. But its really really rewarding. no doubt about it. =)

Sunrises represents a new day, a new hope,  a new vision, a new life and a new chance.

God started the creation of the earth with sunrise. New things.

I love the sunrise. haha

Praise the Lord...

I got an A for my AudioTech Exams!!! Praise the Lord!!!

Wee~~~ hahaha... God is good man!!! 

Wow... Didn't really expect to get such high grades for my audio tech.. because my written test results were not really that good. But Practical... Hahaha... =) 

Results for Audio Tech module so far.

Written Test: 10.6/15

Practical test. 9.7/10

I am looking forwarded to ace this module... =)

next week cg must must share in testimony. =) man, couldn't share for the last 4,5 weeks larz... had emerge, that sozo, den last cg too many ppl share testi(which is a good thing.), den this week cg is prayer meeting.

Hahaha... =)

IQ test...

Haha.. did the test on chuen heng's blog... not bad arz??

life...

Was with Kenneth at Bedok Reservior Macdonald's ytd, was reminded of many things that have happened in the past. That was near the place where I first received my portfolio in the cell group. That was where many things had happened in my entire life.

Reflected upon my own life..

I am going to share stuff that most proberly going to shock people who knew me after that faithful day at 08/10/05.

I was born in a family that was emotionally shutdown. There was no free expression of love for the best part of my life in pre-school and primary school. I had a dad who was a heavy drinker and a chain smoker. He was also a member of the occult and was a medium.

My mum had a great personality and great dreams and visions for her life. She had a humble upbringing and was easily contented. I remember saying this to her as a child, "Mummy, Next time when I grow up, I will buy you a big house and after when I get married. You help me take care of my children okay?" The Guang Xiang then was 5 or 6 years old. My mum swell with pride as she look at me and if I remembered correctly, she teared in front of me after I said that.

Den her boy grew up, and enrolled into Damai Primary School. Little did she know that her little boy had Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and had to go for counselling and pharmedical attention. Haha... her little boy just couldn't sit still for more than 10mins. Go read up more, you will still see some symptoms in me.. (Trying to change with the power of God.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention-deficit_hyperactivity_disorder

During this entire period of time. I was under heavy bondage of the occult. My father would force my entire family to meditate. Every time a spirit of the 'diety' came upon my dad, I would suffer from intense fear. I somehow doubted the creadibility of the dieties as well.

After that, I got posted to Bedok North Secondary school. That was really when all hell break loose in my life. It was way before the time of Chuen Heng's, Sheila's and Jaslyn. Way before even the times of Natalie and Jin Liang and Huiyi. Those days were the time of Joey, Wei Sheng, Wei Jie and Botak. Sometimes when I look at the pia kias of Bedok North now, I really laughed in my heart. haha, They have not seen the days of the 'former glory' before. It was in sec 1 when I picked up my first cigarette.(although i stoped smoking only until sec 3.)and also my first fight and poem of choice-vulgar and foul language. 'Brothers' to take care of me at sec 1. First overnight stay without accounting to my parents at sec 2 First drink at sec 2. First massive fight at sec 2. first brush with the law for theft.(thank God I wasn't charged.) I remembered also, I threw my first table at a teacher during 2003.

My parents also divorced during my late sec one years. My father had been unfaithful to my mum and my mum brought myself and Shimin and moved out. My family business which once had a turnover of 30K to 40K had incurred debts because of my dad's irresponsiblity in finance(I have forgiven him, and I still love him Ipray that one day he would enter into the Kingdom.)

My mum (despite all that had happened to her, I give her my greatest respect and honour that only God Himself would gained more.) choosed,out of her own will, to clear all his debts. We are still in them, but I thank God that our Finances are doing better. But at that instance, I was plunge into the role of being the only male in the family. Which was not easy.

Den came sec 3(2004). Dat was the worse year of my life. Got invited on several times to a well established street gang operating at Bedok and Bugis area.(Thank God I rejected it.) 'Revived' my smoking days. fought with teachers. Almost whacked Mr Lea, the Operations Manager. Teachers gave up on me. My mum was heartbroken. Her hopes of the big house and grandchildren to take care was smashed. She would hide herself and wash her face with tears everynight. I got retained for that year and by the Grace of God, I am still in the express stream instead of dropping to the normal stream. I also indulged myself in Lan gaming, financed by stealing handphones and wallets in Lan shops. That was a fearful time. Of being caught. and the addiction of lan gaming is that deep.

Den came 2005. I dare to say, that is the greatest turning point of my entire life. However i was still living the life that was really horrendous.I have much little contact with my 'brothers'. Many of them had left the school. I end up being chief of those in my class. I 'rose up' people in my class to be rebelious against the teacher. but something was in the changing. Looking haughty but really empty on the inside, I begin to search fo the one thing that I am really good at. I begin to pour my focus into my CCA. I realised my talents in photography and directing. I rose up quick in Media Productions. I was Vice-Chairman after just 3 months of intense focus. I neglected my studies as well. My smoking addiction got worse, I was smoking at least one packet per 2 days if not 1 day. I am a no-hoper. Even my mum started to make alternate plans for me. She dug up information for ITEs, and private schools just in case.

But God is good, all the time. And all the time, God is good. He found me on this very fatihful week. (just 2 weeks before my critical final year exams.) Kenneth had once shown Mr Beh his photos that he plan to submit to a local photography competition. And bing an avid photographer, I chatted with im for quite some while on his works. Den somehow, during the week, I saw Ken at the third floor corridor. Not knowing why, I RAN towards him to ask if he is free on Saturday to take pictures. He looks surprise and said yes. But I didn't go in the end( Sorry arz Kenneth.) because I didn't know his number as well. haha... But the next week, I took a bus and saw XianBi on the same bus. We had a brief contact during the MOE excel. Where we go around creating a nuiscene of ourselves. It didn't occur to me we stayed nearby. And at that time, he was just saved and very vcry on fire.( He is even on fire now larz).. He begin to ask me qns and how is my final year exams preparations. He asked me out on the following friday to go to a study group at puggol, which turns out to be sheena's place. And I am really amazed at Sheena's ability at maths. XianBi invited me to study tgt again on saturday morning and I agreed. Little did I know that the entire 'old' E149 was there. I got to experience a pure Christian fellowship for the very first time, even though I didn't know that they were christians. One person caught my attention! He was a funny person, wearing a billabong white cap and wearing a dark coloured shirt. He was joking about how he had bumped his head on a pole and there was a swell.. I really mean a swell!!!! Haha.. Its a super big one larz. Do you know who is he?? Clue: He was carrying a grey Nike bag. Haha, Its Royston! LOL.... And after the study group, they suddenly say that it was late (when its only like 1.30pm if i rmb correctly.) and den i asked them where are they going to. They said they were going to church. That was when I first found out they were christians. They invited me along. Feeling that this group was different and wanting to find acceptence in friends. i asked them were is it. And I got a shock of my life when they casually said Boon Lay. Haha. But I tagged along and thanks to kenneth's $1.90 to take MRT. And if you can just remember (Royston and XianBi) the Hammer gang. LOL

So thats the first time i went to a relevant church. It is amazing...

The first qns that I asked when I saw the Words: "City Harvest Church" on the fence of the building was: " are we at the right place?" Oh ya... Xiao Yong was there too..

And the second qns I asked when we stepped into the auditorium: " Are we at the TV station watcing a concert?" Hahaha...

Den i sensed the immerse joy and freedom during Praise. As I was scanning through the hall. I saw people jumping, clapping, cheering in joy. And I did the unexpected, I jumped with the crowd too. Haha.. actually it was for the fun, but there was such a spirit of liberty and spiritual freedom, i just did it anyway. Haha..

Den it was during the time of worship that i stood there feeling amazed. People kneeling at their knees. tears flowing down their cheeks. An unexplainable atmosphere of majesty and awe filled the hall. And there was this periodical shudder down my spine and hair begin to stand. I though it was the aircon, but it was warmt that I felt instead. The preaching of the Word was done by a foreign Pastor, Carl-Gustuv. He preached about being more than a conqueror in Christ. It was a simple Message. But very very funny one. Den came the altar call. I didn't know what is it at first. But Royston, standing beside me, asked me if I wanted to accept Jesus into my eart. I nodded my head and went down. Prayed the sinner's prayer and my face was filled with tears. I was saved on 08/10/05. I am engaged to Him like a bride is to her husband. From then on, my life has never been the same.

I remembered I prayed very hard for Grace to be upon me for my final exams. I passed and was promoted. That in itself was a miracle. I went on and got a L1R4 of 16 for my O lvls. My smoking habits stopped immediately after that date. I never felt empty inside ever again. My whole life went through a 180 degree change. I am loving God more and more now. A touch from heaven and your life will never be the same again. One thing that I promise to all.

He touched me...

Dilution and reverse osmosis

Dilution, noun,
1. the process of making something weaker in force, content, or value.

He must increase, but I must decrease.
-John 3:3

Dilution must occur in me. Dilute myself with the presence of God. in that way, will i decrease and He increase in me.
Too much of 'me' , too little of He.


Dilution must not take place in the Word. Heaven and earth may pass away, but His Word will never pass away. Instead, reverse osmosis must take play. Purify the Word and grab the essence. Find the hidden molecules inside the text.

Dilute and R.O, way to go!!!

Passion

What you don't treasure, you will lose it.
Lesson learnt, hard and painful.
But God is indeed good and faithful.
I really need the time to settle down my life.
Make adjustments, make sacrifices.
Seeing my comrades in battle while watching on the sidelines is not fun. Really not fun.
But the soldiers that are not fit for the battle should be on the training ground.

But today and ytd, God spoke.
Just one word, Passion.
Xiu confirmed it last night after mock BS.


Passion, noun,
1. strong and barely controllable emotions.
2. an intense desire or enthusiasm for something
3. a thing arousing enthusiasm.

Similar Words,
fervor (fervency), zeal, eagerness, zealousness, vigor, fire, energy, spirit, compulsion, fanaticism.

I am going to be passionate from now on. Its a decision.

social psychology

I am starting to love socpsy more and more.

last week, we learned about culture.
Today, conformity. Wow!!!